Does This Only Happen To Me?

[Simon P]

Last year, on a beautiful summer's day, I picked up my daughter from Uni in the E-type, and enjoyed an otherwise unremarkable drive back down the M1. Approaching Luton she announces that she's not going to make it as far as London without 'an accident', so can we stop? No really there will be an accident soon - CAN WE STOP?!

Naturally reluctant to park the gleaming spotless beastie any place where the public might hang out, I nevertheless pulled into Toddington Services and, after having carefully driven round the car park twice, located a spot - well away from all the kiddie-laden 4WDs - where I could pull up in safety and also keep an eye on the car from indoors (mention of toilet breaks had naturally had something of a knock-on effect).

All went well and we returned to the car still sitting in its isolated spot.... only to find that in the 3-4 minutes we'd been parked up a seagull had overflown the length of the car and managed the most spectacular (and accurate) bit of carpet bombing ever seen. A line of huge great splatters of white straight up the middle of the car, starting at the nose and finishing at the tail. Never seen anything quite like it!

Fast forward to this weekend and on Saturday morning, on a glorious crisp clear day, me and the E-type headed up to North Weald for her first proper outing of the year. Once more, spotless paintwork gleaming in the sunshine I revelled in the enjoyment that driving an E-type can only bring. Turning on to the M11 I accelerated smoothly, when THWUMP! - what I thought was a splatter of mud hit the screen in front of me. I then realised that far from being just in front of me there were actually splatters all over the screen.

Realising that wipers would in all likelihood only make it worse, I pulled off the road at the next available opportunity so that I could get out and do something about it. And that's when I saw it - some sort of bird (and I can safely say from the colour not a gull, and from the volume in all probability a Great Bustard, an Ostrich, or a Dodo) had deposited 'a load' which had landed a direct hit on the nose just in front of the front number plate, and then exploded back over the bonnet covering the nose, the number plate, the power bulge, the wipers, the screen, and the leading edge of the roof In fact so perfect was the hit on a moving car, that I'd venture to suggest that two birds were involved: one to 'paint' the target with a laser designator, and one to fly the actual mission

Have I just been unlucky twice, or is this a common E-type problem?

[Gfhug]

It could only happen to you

Thank you, Simon, that put a smile on my face

[cactusman]

nope. I get mine out of the garage. Within 5 mins a pidgeon that has had a serious Vindaloo settles in the tree and bombs the car ....and it sticks like no glue I know....you are bnot alone

[christopher storey]

I'm told it is a sign of good luck ! Just count your lucky stars it's not an OTS

[Polse7317]

Well Simon, .... it's the same here but may be with other birds ...... anyway a good story which makes appear a big smile ...

[ralphr1780]

It may have something to with the body colour

[Series1 Stu]

Isn't it funny though. If you've got a white car, bird crap is black. If you've got a black car, it's white! I reckon they can change the colour of their discharge to suit the target.

Apparently, birds fly upside down over Morris Marinas.

Regards

[chrisfell]

I did hear someone suggest that birds crap on highly polished cars because they think they might be ponds. But the speaker didn’t explain why birds would want to crap on/in a pond. I think that it is just because birds are fickle, and have no taste. They prefer other cars than our well kept Es.

And you know what they say, if a bird craps on your car, don’t go out with her again.

[BRM]

Sounds like they're really out to get you, Simon !

We took the E type for a couple of days in the Oxford area to take in the Bicester meeting. The following day we stopped in Goring on Thames for a pub lunch, leaving the car in the remotest corner of the town car park. On returning I found a huge dollop of avian excrement from the roof right down the driver's window and door. I hate it when it gets in the crevice at the bottom of the window.

To be fair I had, without thinking, parked under a tree so I suppose I was asking for it !

[ALAN COCHRANE]

Simon

I have a blue Honda which appears to have a large invisible bullseye painted on it. I've been told that birds are programmed to drop their load over water. A blue car fools them into thinking they are and bingo.
It's got so bad that I'm thinking of building a carport to cover the Honda. One of the downsides of living by the sea I suppose.

[ralphr1780]

...that birds are programmed to drop their load over water...

I guess most of us around too

[V12 Epyte]

What you need is this

http://www.poorboysworld.co.uk/cgi-bin/ ... db_epid=65

[Tony]

This happened to me when a bird pooped all over the car. I asked my wife for a tissue to which she replied. It will be miles away by now

[JimmyS]

I reckon it's happened to Gary Larson too!

[alfred]

S%*t happens! I was heading down the highway three years ago in my XK8 and noticed a brown liquid coming from the bonnet seam, and flipping onto the windscreen. I thought it was an oil leak or worse, so I pulled over. When I came to the front of the car there was a massive bird deposit up front that had worked its way up - with the help of the air flow- into the bonnet seam. Must have been the elusive crimson breasted crapper.