For anybody that lives by the words "The Way It Came From The Factory!" is the only condition any automobile can be seen out in public, your kind may be redeemable. But not here. Press the back button while shouting "Yankee, GO HOME!". Those around you will understand.
Ok, those remaining who are adventurous (or foolhardy) enough, you are being given a chance to leave. Close the tab and never, ever return.
Still here? I am required to inform you that brain bleach is available from your local psycotherapist for US$150.00 per 50 minute session.
Last chance to leave. You do not have to expose your very being to the horrors that follow. There is no shame in admitting, "Those breakaway colonists are a bunch of uncivilized cretins."
Brace yourself for some serious blasphemy!
Within the hot-rod community of the USA (not the most stable bunch), there exists a sub-group building custom cars and motorcycles under the banner of The Rat Rod. Vehicles built so ugly and rule-breaking that they are attempting to pass them off as works of art.
As Bill Waterson is credited as saying, "The trouble with being Avant Garde is no one knows who is putting who on."
Putting all discussion of what may or may not be art aside, I am seriously considering (last chance to turn back) making my 1969 LHD OTS into a rat-rod.
Consider the situation:
1. The car had been hit low in the front in the early 1980's
2. The car was disasssembled for a full restoration at that time
3. The project ran out of money after the floorboards were replaced improperly.
4. The bonnet was completely disassembled. I know where at least 6 of the big pieces and some duplicates are. The worst damaged part was never repaired.
5. The engine bay paint is a mix of Pale Primrose covered, in places, by failing flat black.
6. The rest of the exterior of the body is currently finished in high-build primer with surface rust starting to leak through on some downward-facing surfaces.
7. The interior was removed completely. I have the seats and most of the bottom-rusted trim panels.
8. There is a layer of blast media inside the car.
9. The doors are off (I have 3 replacements)
10. The boot lid is off (I have 1 in prime and 1 in primrose. Of those 2, one of them has the holes for a luggage rack).
11. The interior of the boot had carpeting glued in.
12. The damage under the mouse nests I have already removed, clearly shows the need to rewire the whole car.
13. The windscreen has a major stone chip just to the outside of the driver's view.
So, as far as I am concerned, I have to do a total rebuild of the mechanical and electrical systems just to get a safe-to drive car. And by "rebuild", I mean remove each subsystem, drain the fluid, replace the seals (at a minimum) or buy a whole new or properly rebuilt unit.
My goal is to have a car that I can do maintence cycles on a reasonable schedule and leave in the garage for up to two weeks at a time. Take it out for a run of up to 400 miles (a tank of fuel) without having to worry that it will give me any trouble. Longer trips will require preparation.
While the main goal has nothing to do with appearences, my skills set does: I am a wizard with electrics, I can replace any part in an internal combustion engine then get it going again and tune it to factory specs. But I absolutely suck at bodywork and painting.
So, I figure it will take me another year or two of spare time to finish the engine, rebuild the electrics, replace and/or rebuild the sub-assemblies in the braking, steering and suspension systems.
That will be when I will want to drive the car!
So, if I use roll-cage building techniqes to build a wire-frame representation of the bonnet using only 3/4" tubing. Hang the headlamps, bumpers and S1 marker lights about where they belong in space on this frame.
Will that look awesome? Disgusting? Artistic Expression?
What if I poorly painted the wire frame a similar same grey primer? Contrasting primer? Pale Primrose? Leave the mill scale?
Also just throw some paint at the interior, mount the seats* and seat belts (we gotta keep this thing 50-state legal!).
[*Totally reupholster the seats with new foam, rubbers and period-correct leather.]
If I follow this path, I'll have a car a year (and $10,000) sooner than if I send it out to have it painted. $35,000 to do the paint professionaly. Or $they$don't$make$numbers$that$big$ to have the interior, convertable top, bodywork and painting done properly.
By not modifying any of the factory parts (other than the damper pully for DSI and, maybe, EFI) and the rebuilt electrics. Anyone can buy the car with all of my spare bits and do a proper restoration if and when they choose.
I envision driving around in an unusual car that no one would even think of stealing (or going near). And not worrying about the paint getting chipped.
I'd never have to worry about getting wet in a surprise summer shower. I will get wet! No worries. Just make sure to put some drains in the floorpan.
The only modification I am thinking about, that will make more work is the windscreen. The stone damage is small enough that it can be filled, stabilized and polished. If I do the rat-rod build, I will have the filler dyed blood-red so the former damage will stand out! Any potential restoration will absolutely require a replacement windscreen after that!
So does everbody else think I am being a selfish jerk, or is it just me?
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